Man Comes Up With Hilarious Plan to Catch Cheating Wife
In the battle of the sexes, neither men nor women benefit from an imbalance in the tug-of-war between yin and yang. We don’t even benefit from the battle.
A fair case can be made that the current state of play favors women, and that the pendulum has swung far enough to their advantage, and now needs to swing back. Women are now achieving above men in college enrollment, are favored in custody disputes, and are even favored in TV shows and commercials (where men, and married men in particular, are universally depicted as oafs). Higher male suicide rates are a further indication of the inordinate stress falling on men, and workplace deaths, which are 92% male and only 8% female, are yet another shovelful of dirt on the grave of masculine hopes and dreams.
For those who accept this thesis, we have a story that offers a little payback.
A unidentified man was reported in the San Francisco Globe to have used a uniquely effective method of uncovering his wife’s infidelity. Circumstantial evidence that she was dishonoring her wedding vows began to accumulate, including her insistence that she was staying late every night after work, even as her co-workers kept telling the man that she had left the office at her usual hour.
When our cuckolded husband asked his wife what she wanted for her birthday, she asked him to leave town with his friends for that weekend because she had to work anyway and didn’t want to be reminded that she was aging. He agreed to give her some birthday space, and roomed with friends.
Our protagonist then invited his wife’s family to delight his wife with a surprise birthday party.
The family, including his wife’s mother, father, sister, and several of her friends, assembled on Saturday morning, with a cake, and, quiet as mice so as not to spoil the surprise, went quietly up the elevator of the couple’s apartment building, and then tiptoed into their apartment. We’ll let the husband tell the rest of the story in his own words:
“Well as I throw the door open, we all yell ‘Surprise!’ But the surprise was on us and there was my wife, but naked with her lover staring at us wide-eyed. Mom drops the cake, sister screams, father begins to shout. I pretend like I’m horrified and her friends try to push everyone out while yelling at her. My wife, now ex-wife, is sobbing and screaming how could I while the lover is trying to put on his pants while running out of the place. Needless to say, it was one of the best birthday parties I have ever given.”
A funny story masking a grim and painful experience, but the man has to be given credit for making some lemonade out of the lemon he was married to.